i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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