When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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