I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
