i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
