Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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