Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
