I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
