I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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