My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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