JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize