; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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