I am puke
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
