As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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