had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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