Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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