You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think your dad took our porno
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
