It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
