You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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