Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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