im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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