Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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