when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
