We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
