If i come over, it means nothing
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
