just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
