If i come over, it means nothing
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
