Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
