she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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