even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
