She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
