Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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