We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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