yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
