I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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