I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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