Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
