Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
