so let's talk penis.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
