You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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