great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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