You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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