we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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