i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
