im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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