im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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