My hand turned me down
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
