I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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