I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
