Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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