And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
