So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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