I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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