She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
