My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
