pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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