are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just found a bag of teeth...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my poor anus
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
