If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
