Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize