there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
