Is it because I queefed?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
