im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
