CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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