she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
